What is Wrong With My Fans? (Updated)

My fans ask the craziest things! Here are my responses to the madness.  

• My character, Conrad slept with Nancy Botwin on "Weeds." I (Romany Malco) have not slept with Mary-Louise Parker.

• I am not on "House." That’s Omar Epps. 

• I've been living in Puerto Rico for just over 2 years but my Spanish is on a Kindergarten level. 

• I moved to Puerto Rico for many reasons:
• Safety.
• Affordability.
• Great people.
• Closer to family. 
• Caribbean lifestyle.

• Being in Puerto Rico doesn't effect my career much. 

• My "Racism by Numbers" video was not taken down by Facebook and/or YouTube. It was leaked without my permission. I personally wrote to those who'd posted it and requested it be taken down. The video launches September 19th, 2016. 

• I didn't stop acting after “40 Year Old Virgin,” and please stop yelling, “Ho fa' sho!’ when I’m with my mother. She's an ordained minister for Christ's sake.

• I do not smoke, grow or sell weed like my character on "Weeds," so please stop sending me marijuana. The only greens I accept is cash.

• I am not 6' tall. I'm 5' 9" if I concentrate. 

• Just because my characters were gay in both "Blades of Glory" (opposite Will Ferrell) and “A Little Bit of Heaven” (opposite Kate Hudson), does not mean that I am gay in real life; but for $90,000,000, I can be. 

• My most recent shows are, "Blunt Talk" on the Starz Network and “Mad Dogs, on Amazon.” I'm Trinidadian! You know we always have at least two jobs!

• I wrote for Paula Abdul's animated protege, MC Skat Kat, but the voice was done by radio host, Derrick "Delite" Stevens. Go bother him. 

• I was once a rapper signed to Virgin records. My biggest hit was "Victim of the Ghetto."  Sorry, but there will be no reunion for this 90's rap group of mediocre success.

• There is no Weeds Movie in the making. Let it go. It's okay to sober up and move on. 

•  I am not discussing my penis size on this or any forum, nor am I sending any penis pics.

• I'm a household face but not yet a household name...and I haven't blown up because it's not my time. 

• My name is not Zeke the Freak, and I am not dating Meagan Good. She is in a happy Christian marriage and I'm seeing a guy who plays for the Rams. KIDDING! I'm committed to a woman who will not allow me to post any images of her in my social media.

• I moved to Puerto Rico because I'm an island man at heart, it's closer to my family, feels more like home and despite PR's current economic standing, I feel safer here than I did in the USA. 

• I played Lonnie opposite Robert DeNiro, Michael Douglas, Morgan Freeman and Kevin Kline in "Last Vegas."  Ask your grandparents about it. 

• Tijuana Jackson is NOT a real person. He is my alter-ego; an ex-convict turned motivational speaker who can be seen on HBO and/or PrisonLogic.com.

• You don't see me in more movies and TV shows because I don't feel inspired by  a lot of the material sent my way. 

• Most I've ever been paid to do a film is love. I met my ex wife on the set of "Love Guru."

• I love travel, experimental cuisine, beautiful skin, fishing and family.

• My professional dream is to write, direct and star in independent hit movies without ever having to rely on the Hollywood studio system.